Letter: CEASE AND DESIST
To whom it may concern (this includes you):
This letter serves as public notice served to Chandra al-Alkani, proprietor and owner of the Freeloader Bar, on behalf of fluffy, proprietor and owner of Mad Scientific Laboratorial Concern and Tiki Lounge, LLC, on the basis of infringement over SpinDizzy patent SD-000294, “A method for automatic eviction of sleeping entities via Helpful Service Robots,” henceforth referred to as the ‘294 patent.
Among others, the primary claims of this patent show a clearly-defined process by which a sleeping entity [see fig. A, attached] will be evicted from the potentially-hazardous premises [fig. B] in which they have taken extended slumber, and brought to a region of minimum potential peril (colloquially referred to as a “safe area”) such that they may be preserved for the future of themselves and the world as a whole.
Whereby this intellectual property has been so flagrantly violated, Mad Scientific Laboratorial Concern and Tiki Lounge, LLC demands a royalty payment of no less than 80% of any materials recovered from the entities sent into safe-keeping, as well as any residual rights to the intellectual property derived thereof.
Further, the owners of the intellectual property stated in the ‘294 patent object on both ethical and moral grounds to the lackluster way in which this method has been implemented within the premises of the Freeloader Bar; whereas the full invention absolutely preserves the sleeping entities in body, sampled genetic code (where applicable), and fundamental neural patterns (again, where appropriate), the Freeloader rendition of the Invention merely satisfies the primary claims, and does no preservation of entity or tissues thereof at all, simply dumping the entity off at its stated place of permanent residence. As a further remedy to this flagrant violation of the spirit of the invention, Mad Scientific Laboratorial Concern and Tiki Lounge, LLC demands that the service robots be reprogrammed to deliver the sleeping entities to an appropriate cryo-storage facility, such as the one maintained by Mad Scientific Laboratorial Concern and Tiki Lounge, LLC, at a reduced cost of tenancy.
Given that the very name of the Freeloader implies an anticipated business relationship of taking advantage of others’ property without any compensation, we are certain that any court case would be found in favor of Mad Scientific Laboratorial Concern and Tiki Lounge, LLC.
Have a nice day,