Meet the Candidates
The SpinDizzy News asked each candidate to write a short statement, either biographical or platform-oriented, for our 2013 Election Guide. Responses are reproduced below.
When I originally stepped upon this land, I thought I was only going to be here for a weekend to be part of the wedding ceremony between Mavra and Argon. Here it is seven years later and in all that time I’ve tried to make a positive impact on my newfound home. I’ve done what I can with what I have entertaining folks, helping them get upon their way, introducing guests to this world, helping to grow it. Now I would like to be allowed to take things one step further and be your Mayor.
Now there are those who are running around saying the mayor position is a meaningless one. They are welcome to their point of view, but I humbly disagree. I say the mayorship is what the Mayor does with it. What I plan to do is reach out to you, the citizens of SpinDizzy. We need communication between those that lead and those who are lead. To that end I plan to install a suggestion box that anyone can access with any idea that they think would improve life here on SpinDizzy.
What inspired me to do this? The other day a resident of SpinDizzy came to me and said, “Garrison, I’d like to ask about implimenting a leash system, but I’m afraid to talk to the wizards.” Now I can understand this…the wizards are busy people, and it can be intimidating to approach them. But it also creates a hole in communication. That’s where I want to come in. As Mayor I want to be your liaison. I want to collect up your ideas, find the most important and pressing needs facing the community, and present them to the wizards at a prechosen time. With this the mayorship is given a purpose, and communication is restored — and communication is the key difference between running a Muck, and running amuck.
What is this election about? Besides being seen around squirrels, of course. I have memories of fun around SpinDizzy. Like everything else here, it should be about fun. The problem is, there has been a lot going on here the last few years that hasn’t been fun. Some was unavoidable. Some was avoidable. Some of the non-fun had to be worked at to screw it up to the point it
wasn’t fun. I don’t like that.
So, what is the mayorship about? I don’t know. But I know what I’ll make it about. I’ll make it about what it used to be about: fun. Do I really care if I win or not? Look at my past campaigns and my current campaign for the answer of no. I’m having fun running. When it’s not fun, I doze off. If elected, you know what you’re getting with me, and what you’re getting is fun. I don’t take the office of mayor seriously. I won’t take your complaints seriously. If they were serious, you’d take them to a wizard, not a made-up official with no power. What I will do, and you all know this is true, is play and have fun whenever I’m awake here. And if you want to have fun too, do it. It won’t step on my toes at all. In fact, the less I have to do to keep this place fun, the better. This message has been brought to you by a tiny Japanese flying squirrel. And remember, a vote for Gilead is a vote for Gilead.
If elected, I promise to declare myself to be official municipal park furniture, and from that position to cause as little trouble as possible for the duration of my term.
An occasional resident of your attic and frequent visitor to the kitchens of SpinDizzy, Royce has been a part of this community for over 14 years, a decent portion of which has been spent awake. As your Mayor, he pledges to continue being around now and then to make sure our community does not become overrun with excess snacks or distracting shiny things. Otherwise, he does not have any big plans to rock the boat, except in cases where the rocking will help him get a nice nap in.
My Promises to the Wizards and Players of SpinDizzy:
1. A Triumphal Procession to mark my Election. The same to incorporate floats, vuvuzela players, exotic animals, and sundry and divers wonders!
2. A Ludi Aquilae to Celebrate my Term of Office. A single day Games to take place during the World’s Fair, with athletic contests, gladiatorial combats, and performing animals!
3. Distribution of Largesse. Each Citizen of Spindizzy shall receive a generous portion of carrion, a signed portrait of me, and a bottle of W Ketchup!
4. Appeasement of the Ketchup Gods. I shall appoint a Liquamenex Maximus to preside over a Ketchup Festival. Moreover, W Ketchup shall become the Official Ketchup of Spindizzy. In this manner, we shall appease the Ketchup Gods, and assure their clemency toward Spindizzy.
5. Statues, that I may be Remembered. I shall erect at least one, and ideally several, large and impressive statues of myself in public places to commemorate my term of office.
Vivek, space adventurer and master of the aether, is a naturally helpful fellow who seeks to benefit all the individuals he can, helping people reach their true potential in the most expedient way possible! All the while, he hopes to bring fun and excitement to this world. Standing around in the Rose Garden all day? There’s more to life than that! What about some adventure and interesting happenings? This is a beautiful continent with a detailed history. Why not celebrate it? Vivek’s philosophy is simply that of making the most of the beauty that’s here, ensuring smooth operation in all other regards.
He himself may be relatively new to the continent, but his kind, the Vampire Bats, were denizens of this world long ago. It’s part of his heiritage as much as anyone else’s on this world, and for that he cares of this world’s future, ready to get to work making SpinDizzy the most beautiful and exciting place it can be from the zeroth hour on!